By Ian Chow, Certified Massage Therapist / Infant Massage Instructor / Oncology Massage Trainer
Length: 4 mins read (862 words)
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Without fail, every week I will get enquiry of such:
Him: Hello! You provide massage?
Me: Hi there! Yes I do and here is my rates card for your consideration.
Him: Do you offer happy ending too?
Me: Sorry, I don’t. I provide proper treatment massage
So, this post I will dedicate it to the correspondences that I find amusing in my life as a massage therapist. When life give you lemon, you made lemonade out of it. 😛
Me: This is my new rates card.
Client: Oh! The rates are different from last year.
Me: Yes, it is. It has increased.
Client: Wah! (Accompanied by the shock emoji)
Me: (silent) But in my heart, I was thinking “Your job salary, you didn’t expect an increment?
“Picked up a call at 1.15am thought it was emergency. (Rejected it first time and then called again)Me: Hello.
Him: You provide massage service ah?
Me: It is a bit too late for massage don’t you think?
Him: Oh yes ah. My friend give me your number and thought you are on 24 hours.
Me (politely): Nope, certainly not 24 hours.
(In my heart): Why dont you ask your friend to massage you instead. Wtf.
Me: Hello.
Him: You provide massage service ah?
Me: It is a bit too late for massage don’t you think?
Him: Oh yes ah. My friend give me your number and thought you are on 24 hours.
Me (politely): Nope, certainly not 24 hours.
(In my heart): Why dont you ask your friend to massage you instead. Wtf.
My life is interesting, as usual. 
Him: Do you do back to back massage?
Me: Back to back with your partner? Yes I do but depends on what time we start.
Him: No, for myself only. How much extra do you charge?
Me: Oh! You mean body to body? No lah, I don’t do that. I thought you were asking doing the massage one after another.
As I was treating one of my elderly gentleman just now as he lost partial of his mobility, his wife asked me:
Wife: Why didn’t you find a better profession?
Me: What I am doing is very professional and I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t choose to do this.
In my mind, I wish I can answer her more, “Where are the doctor and engineer’s son that you spoke about? They are not here to look after their father, are they?”
I didn’t know I became a pimp. 😛
Him: Hello! You punya amoi dari mana ah? Macam mana saya pilih dari you punya blog?
Me: Saya takde amoi. Saya operate alone dan hanya buat proper treatment massage.
After: Oh! My Client
Ian Chow Massage Therapy 